This play was put on as part of a spring equinox rite with Stone Creed Grove, and it seemed appropriate to put the script out there. Part of this is an attempt to in a small way revive the great tradition of Greek theater that had its main celebration at around this time, at the City Dionysia. This script does not strictly follow all the rules of Greek theater - for instance, the satyrs don't really act as a traditional Greek chorus, but it's at least fun. Without further ado:
Setting: Our intrepid adventurers (using the term loosely) have arrived on Odysseus' boat to the island ruled over by Circe, a sorceress.
Circe's palace - enter Circe, Melitta, and Circe's attendants
Circe: Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored! There is absolutely nothing to do around here, everything is going so smoothly. All I have is this tapestry to weave.
Melitta: But what about those beasts outside, Circe?
Circe: What, those guys? Completely boring, Melitta! Some dogs who wanted to follow me around -eww- licking me, goats that wanted to jump me, some dirty and smelly pigs coming up to me nose-first, nothing resembling a man.
Melitta: Well, is there something me and my colleagues could do for you?
Circe: It just wouldn't help. It's nothing about you, it's just that every time new visitors arrive, I show them their true natures, and then they become just another one in my collection.
Melitta: Well, look out to sea, and there you'll see, a bit of hope my dear Circe!
Odysseus' ship - enter Odysseus, Eurylochus, Silenus, Odysseus' crew, and satyrs
Odysseus: It's time to put this thing in for the night. Eurylochus, steer for that shore over there!
Eurylochus: Of course, boss!
Odysseus: Now, remember, we need to find food, fresh water, and shelter for the night. Nothing else. Keep in mind what happened to us when we stopped by the Cyclopes' island!
Silenus: Of course I do: The wine you brought allowed us to escape and sent us all out on this grand adventure, on our ongoing quest!
Odysseus: And no drinking, especially you, Silenus! Just find some water, and get back to the ship.
Eurylochus: Yes, boss. But aren't you coming with us?
Odysseus: Well, no, I ... uh ... have to check the sail rigging to make sure it's all ready for tomorrow's trip.
Silenus: I'd stay with you, my friend, but my jar is empty.
Exit Eurylochus, Silenus, satyrs, and crew
Odysseus: Finally rid of them! Now for that nap I've been wanting ever since I left Troy. Zzzzzzz
Circe's palace - enter Circe, Melitta, Silenus, satyrs, crew, and handmaidens
Circe: Welcome, travellers, to my home. I of course will offer you food and drink, and shelter for the night if you so desire it. Melitta, please bring out our best wine.
Silenus: And where is it you keep your worst wine? Don't trouble yourselves, we'll find it.
Circe: Oh, but you will want the best, I'm certain. Like all wine, it cuts down on inhibitions, releasing the truth within.
Silenus: I certainly don't need that to release my inhibitions! I am proud to announce exactly what I want - wine, women, and song.
Circe: Exactly, and I wish to ensure you only have the best of those.
Silenus: Well, in that case ...
Circe: Gentlemen, how about the rest of you? Melitta, you can get them started.
Eurylochus: Crew, go right ahead, but I don't want to look drunk in front of the boss when I get back. He did specifically say “No drinking” on the ship.
Silenus: Like he's paying any attention to you, when he's got them (gesturing towards Circe, Melitta, and the others) to talk to.
Eurylochus: Odysseus and I are very close. He trusts me.
Silenus: I'm sure he does.
Melitta: The good wine, mistress.
Silenus: Oh, thank you, I'll take that.
Melitta: No, you won't. The crew get the first drink.
Circe: Eurylochus, since you are so trusted, why don't you head out and get your famous leader?
Eurylochus: An excellent plan. (exits)
Circe: Now, gentlemen, make sure to enjoy your drinks!
(The crew start acting as various beasts, put on animal masks if you have them)
Silenus: Whoa, that's impressive. Let me have some!
Melitta: Of course!
Silenus: You see, this doesn't work on (like a goat) me-e-e-e. Yo-o-o-u wi-i-il ha-a-ve to do mu-u-uch be-e-e-tte-er tha-a-a-n tha-a-a-t. A-a-and Ci-i-ir-ce-e-e, yo-o-o-u pro-o-mi-i-i-sed wo-o-o-me-en to-o-o.
Circe: Yes I did. You'll find our finest, and more of my fine wine, right through that door.
(Silenus and the satyrs eagerly go through, Circe shuts and bars it behind them)
Melitta: The old closet trick again? Why does it keep working?
Silenus: (muffled, but still in goat-voice) It's dark in here, I can't find anything! Well, at least there's a nice rump on that wench! Wait, and a ... beard?? Wait, you tricked me, Circe! Let me out!
Back at Odysseus' ship - Odysseus still asleep, Eurylochus enters
Eurylochus: Wake up, wake up! Sir, wake up!
Eurylochus: I said wake! Up!
Odysseus: Oh, yes, what? I was having a lovely dream.
Eurylochus: I can see that, sir, and I'm sorry to interrupt, but you should come with me right now. There's a palace with beautiful women, fine meals, and excellent wine waiting for you just down this path.
Odysseus: Are you drunk?
Eurylochus: Of course not! I'm the designated sailor!
Odysseus: (sniffs) OK, I believe you. Let us be off.
Eurylochus: Umm, shouldn't you get dressed first?
Odysseus: Oh, right.
Crossroads near Circe's Palace - Odysseus and Eurylochus enter
Odysseus: Now, which way to this palace of yours?
Eurylochus: Oh, just this way.
Hermes: I would not be in such a rush.
Odysseus: And why do you say that?
Hermes: You have seen many animals on this island.
Odysseus: Yes, of course I have.
Hermes: They were once of the form of men. Here, drink this.
Odysseus: What is it?
Hermes: It's for your breath, you stinker! Just drink it down. It will be worth your while, I absolutely promise.
Odysseus: Oh, well, thank you then. Drinks and exits with Eurylochus
Hermes: (to audience) More of that potion is now available for $5.99 after the show, and is perfect for every time you find yourself in a similar situation.
Circe's Palace - all but satyrs and Silenus enter, Hermes hides on the side
Circe: Ahh, welcome, clever Odysseus! Finally here to join your crewmates.
Odysseus: Yes, of course. But where are the others?
Circe:Oh, they're in the other room enjoying some relaxation after their meal. Speaking of which, would you care for some wine?
Odysseus: I wouldn't want to be a rude guest. (drinks) Really quite tasty, but I don't see what you were gushing about, Eurylochus.
Circe: Wait, you must be truly a man to drink that down and still be your normal self! Melitta, I've finally found one!
Odysseus: Well, I mean, I ... err ... well I did plan the sack of Troy. And fought off more giant monsters than you can count.
Circe: Well, let's see what sort of giant monster you might have at your disposal, fine sir!
Silenus: (offstage) Let me out, let me out!
Odysseus: What was that?
Silenus: (offstage) She locked us in this closet!
Odysseus: Look, Circe, I appreciate your interest, but I will not be ready for any of that until I know my crew is entirely safe. (unbars closet door)
Silenus: Thank you! See fellas, I knew we could count on him! But as for you, what a fine hostess you are! Is there anything to get these guys back into man-form?
Melitta: Mistress, you really ought to think of the rest of us more often. You have found your true man, can't we get to know this crew in a more ... pleasant ... form?
Circe: Fine! I understand! A moment please, let me use the antidote. (picks up a sprig of ivy, as she touches it to the transformed crew they become men again) Now let us drink to fine Odysseus, and his brave crew, and enjoy the company of heroes true!
Silenus: (upstaging Circe) And another triumph of the satyrs too!
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